Angst...

every time I remember I have to go up to the barn to ride tonight, my heart starts pounding and my chest & throat get tight. I am really hating having to worry about avoiding people.
Tomorrow I have to get up early to work- it'll be at least 4 hours worth. OOps! 5- I have to make grain bags. Then I have to go to my "other" job, that started then disappeared when I first quit at the barn. I love how when I have drawing work (at double the $$), I have to "help out" at the barn. Makes me want to shovel shit all the more. Maybe Bob will ask me to work Sunday too!! That would be so awesome! Getting up at 4:00 to be there at 5:00, with daylight's savings starting- ooo- sounds like a bucket-nay- a veritable WHEELBARROW full o' fun!